By Farai Cheuka– Zimba Wave Media
National hero and late music icon Oliver “Tuku” Mtukudzi (22 September 1952 – 23 January 2019) was a Zimbabwean musician, businessman, philanthropist, human rights activist and UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador for Southern Africa Region.
Mtukudzi died at the age of 66 at Avenues Clinic in Harare , Zimbabwe after a long battle with diabetes mellitus.
Mtukudzi was the father of six children(with four different women).
After his demise, his wife and children from his 1st marriage to Melody Murape, namely Sandra & Selmor are now at loggerheads with his surviving spouse Daisy Mutukudzi over the administration of the late national hero’s legacy.
There are so many Zimbabwean men who have a similar situation to the late icon Oliver Mutukudzi. We are in an era where marriages are not surviving the test of time.
I myself as I write this article, life has not spared me the heartache of marriage breakdown and this spells siring children with different women, the same card that life dealt the departed hero and music icon.
So what are the lessons that men who find themselves in a similar situation can draw from such a sad story where the legend’s daughters Sandra and Selmor Mutukudzi are calling for fair treatment from their stepmother and step siblings.
1)Proverbs 19:14 Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.
The choice of a life partner is of paramount importance. You have to consider your children. It will be a grave mistake to think you will be around forever, you are finite, and in the event of death, will your wife have your children from previous marriage(s) at heart.
2) Wills and Powers of Attorney are an important part of Financial Planning and Organising your finances.
“Don’t put off until tommorow what you can do today”. That advice has never been truer than when it comes to making a will.
Tuku could have avoided his name being dragged in the mud even in his grave, sadly it is clear the legend achieved so much in the music industry and undeniably penned a lot of songs, yet he did not write the most important lyrics- his will or trust.
3) Treating kids the same is important, yes they might have come from different women and as one columnist wrote this week that women are vindictive by nature, many exes become enemies but as a man you should never settle scores using kids.
One of the most important factors in making a will/trust is choosing who you would like to inherit your property and money (your estate) Tuku should have left a will or trust as alluded earlier in this article and in doing so as a men specify that it is distributed to all your children.
4) The last lesson I personally take from this saga is that, there is more damage to your surviving children and spouse to live them to administer your estate after your demise if you don’t live your house in order.
5) It will be wise for a man to leave a will or trust that will encompass all his children nomatter who the mother of his children is and/or what the gender of his children is. We are not God to know what lies ahead of time and it might be not a wise move to pick a singular heir, who knows what’s in the future. What if they are negligent to what has been left to them.
This is one of the issues that was contentious in the drafting of the Marriages Act 2022, whether a married woman (civil or customary) and the ‘small house’ have the same rights.
As a community, we have not touched the surface of this issue, it’s time to get talking.
Men let us pause and think. Who will look after my children if the worst happens? Will my wife have the best interest of my children (notably from previous relationship(s))?
Should I die what is going to happen to my children? As the drama was unfolding, as social media became agony aunties and uncles, I paused to think deep.
I want to make it right and put my house in order before my promotion to glory, and I urge other fellow men to pause and introspect.
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